I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You ruined the universe
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
