I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So vagazzling was a success
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
