How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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