so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
