Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
