Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
