32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
