So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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