if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
