what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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