Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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