tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
