so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In other news, I just burned my penis
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
