Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
