Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
