make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
