Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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