He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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