i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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