So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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