he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
