I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
