We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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