my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
