he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
