Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
