About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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