I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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