Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it's like iHOP with fire
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
