At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
