I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
