they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
