Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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