I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
