Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
