Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
