Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
