I heard we made out
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
