so that wasnt chicken after all
where am i from again
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
