i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is my gift to your gina
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm sobbing to NWA
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
