Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
