Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
