i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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