Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We are all done wearing pants today
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