we have officially lost it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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