they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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