What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
