My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
