i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
