you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
