It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
