I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
