We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
